There are so many of us who are friends with many people we don't even know would help us if we were in dire straits. It usually takes special circumstances to reveal the true nature of such people. But we should also acknowledge that there are many people who do not want to be in that stressful position (of being a helpful friend), maybe because their good nature never got reciprocated in the past, or someone took their help for granted and did not return them their money, or for any other reason we might not be aware of.

I realized that some people keep us at surface level friendships to avoid being put in the awkward spot of the lifesaver, and having to say no afterwards. Its much better for them to show you they aren't reliable right from the beginning, rather than give you a false impression of deep friendship, and not show up for you when you're in trouble.

They want to remain in that goldilocks zone between having someone to talk to during periods of loneliness or boredom, and not having to take on the stress and pressure of being the life raft that we would depend upon, should the shit ever hit the fan.